Everyone has been there: you’re sitting with a group of people, and a seemingly easy task is suddenly at hand, but everyone is either too comfortable to get up and do it, or the task is undesirable and a chosen person must accomplish it. I’m sure that you could argue for a democratic method of choosing who should perform the task, and I’m sure you could argue for a ‘survival of the fittest’ deathmatch to decide who has to do it. But seriously, we’re talking about things like getting the remote when it’s on top of the tv, or getting out of bed to turn off the light.
I can’t put my finger on it, but at some point, long ago, some wise man or woman beyond their years concocted an answer to all of lifes little situations where someone needs to be chosen quickly. It is simply called “not it.” I don’t pretend to be the messiah of Not It, but I think I’m a veteran of the game. I’ve played it many times, and in fact I believe I’m quite good. A combination of laziness and an utter desire to avoid work at any cost has led me to pursue the finer points of Not It.
There is a problem, however. While I’d say over 90% of the population is well aware of the rules, there are 10% of people who either don’t know them, or ignore them. There is only one rule of Not It; after someone says “1, 2, 3,” the last person to say “not it” IS it. That’s it. No do-overs. No “but I wasn’t ready.” No “that’s not fair, I’m a girl and you want me to walk alone into the alley?” The universal rules of Not It take precedence over all others. Read up on it. Now that I’ve laid out the groundwork, I have to vent about a blatant violation of the rules. Recently, there were four of us sitting watching the LA Clippers lose horribly, and the board game “Scene It” was sitting on the table. The game involves a DVD. Do you see where this is going? SOMEONE had to put the DVD into the dvd player. As we had all been sitting for a good amount of time, no one volunteered to do it. As usual, someone yelled out “1, 2, 3 not it!” and immediately 2 more “Not It!” ‘s rang out in unicen. The lone female in the room was the lone dissenter. And then came the bombshell from her: “I don’t care about your stupid Not It game, I’m NOT putting the dvd in.”
Dun dun dunnnnnnnn. (blogs need a soundtrack)How can you violate the universal rules of Not It? How can you be IT and not fulfill a reasonable task to which you were de facto assigned to? How can I still be writing about this?